The Truth

I cannot handle it.

But seriously. Auditions for A Few Good Men went as expected, meaning no part for me. I'm fairly certain this is a sign from the theatre gods that I'm meant to hang out backstage for the rest of eternity. I'm not sure if I'm upset or okay with this. On one hand, I'd love to be recognized for something (honestly, how many of you look for the Stage Manager in the program? Exactly.) but on the other hand I love love love being backstage. Oh well. That's quite a ways off.

Been in a bit of a funk lately. Getting over my cold and not being able to exercise has something to do with it (I freak out about my weight way too much) but I guess it's more a personal thing.

How often is it okay to want to talk to the same person? I don't want to be clingy, but I don't want to screw this up. I've had enough relationships that went down in flames and I'm determined not to let it happen to this one, but long distance is new to me. Sometimes I can't help but wonder if he'll just decide he wants something closer to home. Otherwise I worry that I'm the one always wanting to talk and that I'm too pushy. Augh. This is another one of those things I shouldn't freak out about but do anyways. Anyone have any sort of advice? Is this normal or bordering on creeptacular?

In other news I'm trying something new. I've decided that I'm going to try eating at least one salad a day. This way I get my veggies and stay healthy. But that raises an interesting conundrum for me. See, thing is, I love meat. Steak and chicken and fish and pork...awesome. Currently my meal schedule is such that I eat breakfast in the dining hall, do lunch in my room, and eat dinner in the dining hall again. Many of you fans of breakfast will acknowledge that meat is scarce on the ground that early in the morning (save breakfast sausage and bacon, both rare and or gross when it comes to the dining hall) so I go with fruit and a bagel or something like that. Lunch is usually something light (Let's be honest, I'm a college kid. It's probably pop tarts or granola or something) and dinner is the only time the salad bar is open for me, so there's my salad.

You will note the disturbing lack of meat in this scenario. Not that dining hall meat is any good to begin with (It's quite shifty. Steak is not supposed to be gray, rubbery, and swimming in it's own grease university! Pull it together!) but every now and then you get a winner. But my diet as of late has been increasingly vegetarian. I have nothing against vegetarians, but I love meat! Honestly I'm not quite sure what to do with myself right now. I'm not going to go full vegetarian, I know that, but I'm not exactly getting the option of decent meat. So what does that make me? Fake vegetarian? Sorta vegetarian? I don't know.

I'm also discovering that I might like the awkward transition seasons more than real seasons. Like this transition between summer and fall where it's cold enough to wear pants but not cold enough to warrant jackets just yet. Or going from fall to winter when you get the first snow. My favorite of these is of course going from spring to summer where it's cool enough to wear jeans but warm enough to pair it with flip flops and a t-shirt.

So many changes this year. It's good. I remember thinking on New Year's "This is going to be my year. I just know it." And so far it has been. Good and bad, it's been an awesome year so far. School, karate, family, Jim...everything.

Song for today: King of Anything by Sara Bareilles off her newest album Kaleidoscope Heart. It's not out in stores yet (that I know of) but check out the song on youtube. It's awesome.

<3 Erin